The Greatest Burger in the World

I must admit, my blog is continuing on in unexpected ways. I tend to have two types of readers: those finding the site and reading my witty, atypical, insightful quips on politics, religion, science and the world of entertainment – and those looking for hamburger recipes.

Well whether or not hamburger is another word for ground beef or not, here is the recipe for the world’s best burger. If you’re looking for recipes for meals made with hamburger (or ground beef) click here. If you are looking for how to make a jaw-busting, taste-bud blowing burger: keep reading! (Picture to be updated later)

The hamburger has a wonderful history, a storied past and an exciting future. As long as people like you are still looking to perfect the world’s greatest meal, it will continue to improve and fascinate.  When I think of all the components of a great burger coming together, I’m reminded of Steven Covey’s trademarked phrase ‘synergy’. Or 1+1=3. Remember the burger is more than a bun, the meat and the toppings. It is also more than the sum of its parts.

Follow the following steps for a taste sensation:

1. Choose the right buns.

There are alot of good-looking buns out there, that leave so much taste on the bakery floor. Although they have a nice sesame seed top, they taste like foam insulation, and probably have less nutrition. The right bun for you is a 1-day old kaiser. I could be convinced to use a cheese bun, or onion bun, but when in doubt, go with kaiser. Brown or white is fine.

2. The toppings.

I’ve long considered myself a sandwich artist (and I’ve never even worked at Subway). In my opinion there is a distinct and systematic way to assemble the toppings on your burger or sandwich. First a basic guide, and then the tastiest toppings.

The general rule of thumb is to spread mayo on the top half of the bun. Vegetables should be layered on the mayo side. Lettuce next to the mayo, then tomato, then onion. It is essential that when eating a cheeseburger, the onion be next to the cheese. If the onions are cooked or combined with mushrooms, they should be layered onto the melted cheese itself, and not layered on the bun top. On the bottom side of the bun go the condiments. I’d say it’s pretty obvious to start with mustard, then go ketchup and relish if desired. The meat separates the condiments from the vegetables.

When available, the following vegetables should be included on your burger:

  • lettuce
  • tomato
  • onion
  • mushroom (I know a fungus, but whatever)
  • red pepper (grilled)
  • cucumber or pickles

Slice the red pepper horizontally and lay directly on the grill, or combine in shallow saucepan with mushrooms, onion and BullsEye BBQ sauce for a super tasty finish

I wouldn’t recommend pickles and relish unless you really like vineger, but whatever.

3. The meat

This is reallly the critical part. If you get this right, you can eat it on a plate with nothing else, and still call your meal a success. Choosing lean ground beef is important, and also saves the life of your barbecue. In one pound of hamburger include one egg, one cup oatmeal, tsp pepper, seasoning salt (or better yet – Montreal Steak Spice) season to taste.

If you’re not one to pound your own beef, purchase Schneider’s Outlaw burgers which are the closest to homemade that I’ve ever had and stay the biggest and taste the best.

When cooking, turn as little as possible. You don’t want them to overcook or dry out. I recommend searing one side on high heat, turning and cooking on low heat, then flipping the burger, putting the cheese on and taking the burger off when the cheese is melted. Kraft cheese slices will do, but for a more mature taste try Cracker Barrel Aged Cheddar, or any variety of Jalapeno Jack Cheddar.

If you’re one who really likes to lock in the flavour and isn’t worried about a heart attack, drain the grease from one burger to the next before flipping. This creates a tasty (albeit deadly) juicy burger. I use as little BBQ sauce as possible. Ask yourself, do you want the taste of the sauce or the meat? Obviously you want to eat it hot, so use the warming rack on the top of your barbeque to keep things warm without burning.

I think you’ll find if you follow these steps, you’ll enjoy the world’s greatest burger.

6 comments on “The Greatest Burger in the World

  1. “Everyone” knows that the World’s Greatest Cheese Burgers are made at Kutchie’s Key West Kutcharitaville Cafe in Asheville, NC. Captain Tony and Jimmy Buffett and everyone else always recommends Kutchie’s Goody Goody Cheese Burgers in Paradise and Kutchie’s World Famous Key Lime Pie!!! It’s time that the rest of you Wake-Up and Smell the Cheese Burgers!!!…………………………………………….
    ……………………Jennifer Downs, Orlando FL.

  2. Gotta disagree with you on the lean meat thing. Many a great burger makers wonder why their burger falls apart and dries out. Using a nice, fatty 75-85 percent grade beef will eliminate the need for the egg, and add a ton of flavor and juicy goodness!

  3. Try an Australian “American Hamburger with the lot” Everything you said, but add to the heap one fried egg, one pineapple ring and a slice of beet root (pickled beet). Then you have something.

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