I recently rented Wanted, the testosterone packed shoot-em-up assassins film that I’ve been waiting to see for a while. What a mistake! I can’t help but think I should have rented something (or anything) else. The movie had promise, from the sounds of it a cool European director, and plenty of smart visuals that could have added to the storyline – if only there had been a storyline.
Imagine a world not unlike ours, where fate controls the destinies of the major world players. Wanted uses a tool of predestination heretofore unseen in moviedom – THE LOOM OF FATE. Picture an enormous room empty save for a giant loom. A loom that combines thousands of white threads to make a simple white swatch of fabric. Within the thousands of stitches that the loom makes, single mistakes are made. When the stitches appear above the other thread rather than below, errors can be viewed in sequence. They appear as a ones and zeroes – binary. The code of course spells out the names of people that fate has chosen to be killed by a ruthless brotherhood of assassins who have the ability to flip cars, bend bullets, run without tiring and imporove their white blood count by bathing in wax.
The movie opens with a scene copying painfully from Fight Club and The Matrix. Neo/Tyler Durden works in a job he hates, his best friend is having an affair with his girlfriend, and he is an anxious insomniac. He is roped into the brotherhood of assassins because his father has just been killed, and he is the only one who can avenge him. He possesses an amazing physical characteristic – his heart beats at 400 beats per minute and he can act quickly when he controls it. It all makes for a ridiculous string of events, involving some admittedly cool visuals.
I have some major questions after watching this movie:
- How could Morgan Freeman and Angelina Jolie possibly agree to this – did they read the script?
- How could they make a movie so similar in beginnings to The Matrix and Fight Club and get away with it?
- How could bending bullets with an upward arm swing be so major a plot device?
- How could a movie with such potential visually, be based on so weak a plot?
- How could a movie about assassins not include any but the ones to member of their own fraternity?
If you want to see a movie with catchy visuals and ground breaking bullet time rent The Matrix.
If you want to see a movie with a transformation from job hater to bloom where you’re planted rent Fight Club.
If you want to see Angelina Jolie rent Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Hackers or Tomb Raider.
If you want to see Morgan Freeman rent Glory, The Power of One or Shawshank Redemption – all beautiful films.
If you want to prevent wasting 121 minutes of your life, avoid Wanted.