There seems to be no shortage of weird, bizarre news this week. Now, coming out of Vienna, a story of how some humans want to declare a chimpanzee a person with rights. The article claims that there are only two categories: human, and everything else. If you’re not human you can be treated like a thing.
Well call me crazy, but couldn’t we create another category here. I agree primates shouldn’t be used for laboratory testing, I know chimps and humans have DNA that is alike in 99% of the way (what a difference 1% makes!), and I believe in the ethical treatment of animals, but this is too much.
We all know where this is going. Some guy has a soft spot for a chimp and wants to protect it from being improperly treated. The next thing you know: someone is arguing for the chimp’s property rights, no one can take its picture without paying a copyright fee, and some perv’s gonna be in line to marry it. If he’s a person, all of the above are possible.
In Andy Warhol’s post-modern world, anyone seeking their 15 minutes of fame is capable of nearly anything – including turning animals into people.