Eli Chapter 1

Have you ever gone to a movie that felt like about three? I had a weird experience at the cinema last night. I went to The Book of Eli, with Denzel Washington as the title character, who never says his own name and quite literally walks by faith, not by sight.

Eli lives 30 years after some cataclysm, probably a nuclear war, if you add up the clues along the way: the sun came down to earth, everything got burned up, lots of people went blind, most of the population is dead and grey ash covers everything. Plants haven’t made it, but a few dusty people did. The ones that were left over managed to survive by raping and eating anything and anyone that happens to come their way. Travellers (who for some stupid, unexplained reason, stick to what’s left of a highway) get tricked into becoming rogue bandit’s dinners.

Don’t count Eli among the unholy though, he eats cats, not Carls, and he’s traveling West with his machete, sawed-off shotgun and book. A book that is so important, everyone seems to want it. I don’t think I’m spoiling anything here if I mention which book it is, but just in case you’re the only person who’s never heard anything about this movie, and hasn’t seen an ad, and can’t imagine which book it could be, I’ll let you be surprised.

Eli is a loner. One so adept at slicing off body parts and shooting down turkey-vultures, that he’s managed to survive on his own. He even has a working MP3 player for goodness sakes.

Unfortunately, Eli slides into a dusty, broken-down western style town with a sherriff who wants the book. He wants it so dang bad, he’s sending out road crews out to search and kill anyone who’s still alive, and confiscate their books. Gary Oldman (the sherriff) captures Eli, and at first tries to cajole him to join his side through wine, women and song. But our drifter won’t take the bait, the book won’t allow it. So after some struggling, he makes his way West.

Partway through, Eli realizes having the company of Solara, a prostitute-prisoner wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world, and after saving her life a few times, they buddy up. Hollywood seems to have an on-again love affair with the apocalypse again. Think of Cormac’s Road with more swordfights. Or Mad Max with more dust and a little bit less crazy dread locks.

Up to this point, I really liked this film. The action was frantic, the whole place looked a proper mess, and the humour was just the right amount to keep you from going post-apocalyptic in your own seat.

The ending of the movie is supremely unsatisfying in a number of ways. Without providing spoilers, I felt confused at the character’s choices, confused by the director’s choices, and bemused by a little twist. I’m not sure if it made me like it more or less (although I’m leaning towards less), but at least it made me think.

Fuel to the Fire

I love conspiracy theories. Maybe it’s too early for this one. However, there are a number of intersting tidbits of information surrounding the earthquake in Haiti. Hugo Chavez, president of Venezuala, actually went on record today accusing the United States of deploying a ‘tectonic weapon’ that caused the earthquake. For a world leader to do something like this is, in my opinion, quite remarkable. Earlier, Chavez claimed that the US was using the earthquake as an opportunity to occupy Haiti.

In order for this conspiracy theory to move from totally ridiculous to barely plausible, a number of things need to be true:

1. Tectonic weapons have to first of all exist. Of course, a weapon so powerful and lets face it, effective, would have to be completely secretive. Are they possible? Well,  the former American Secretary of Defense, William cohen sure seemed to think so.
   “Precautions against unconventional arms must be intensified as potential terrorists develop chemical and biological weapons and electromagnetic methods that could create holes in the ozone layer or trigger earthquakes or volcanoes.”
   – Former US Secretary of Defense William Cohen speaking at the University of Georgia, 1997
2. Haiti has to have something to offer. How about this? Trans-Caribbean Cable Company But who cares right? A giant cable? What if it was carrying sensitive material? Banking information, etc?
3. Americans were quick to have high-ranking diplomats and massive amounts of troops on the ground before anybody else.
4. Tesla postulated a machine like this in the 30’s.
5. The timing of such an event would be ideal to cover up things happening on American soil, to take the attention off of them (skyrocketing debt, health care reform)

Chavez’s claim is that the US was using the earthquake as a practice for its real target of Iran.

It’s not that tough to de-bunk a conspiracy theory either:

1. Weapons like this simply don’t exist.
2. If it were true, a chump like Chavez wouldn’t know about it first.
3. The aid that is pouring into Haiti has been mainly US led. Haiti’s been a terrible place to live for a really long time. Why would anyone want to go there, except to help.

Hugo: US Shaking Things UP

Finally! I’ve been searching for real conspiracy attached to the Haitian earthquake, and now it’s front and center headline news. Hugo Chavez, is accusing the US of causing the Haitian earthquake with some kind of tectonic weapon. He’s already on record as saying that the US is using this as an opportunity to occupy Haiti.
The real reason the weapon was deployed however, was as a training ground for its true purpose: the overtaking of Iran. Interesting…

Save the Whales

The Internet world is abuzz with the latest news of what looks like the Batmobile getting rammed by a Japanese whaling (oops, I mean Cetacean Research) vessel.

In my searching, I found an awesome site by a group that really hates whales. Check it out.

Update: Weirdly enough, while posting this, I just saw an ad reminding Canadians not to allow the seal hunt – creepy.

Upwards and Onwards

I’ve been following, with interest, the progress made on the Burj Dubai (now named something else) for a long time. It’s completed. Why do I love tall buildings? I don’t know, but in a Babeling kind of way they fascinate me. I have a great set of photos on my wall taken by myself, or friends and family members of architecture from around the world. I would love a chance to take a picture of this one myself, but if any of you are heading to the UAE in the near future, snap a photo for me!

The building is beautiful, the stewardship, potential use of slave labour, environmental costs, might be another story.

Post Your Avatar

 

I saw Avatar today with my kids, and I don’t think I’m overreacting when I say that this was a movie that will revolutionize the way movies are made. Or at least I hope it does. I’ve never been a big fan of 3-D necessarily, and I’m not a tree-hugging anti-Corporate America hippy, but after today I’m thinking I might just be the latest convert.

Much has been said, recorded and written about Avatar’s story, visual effects and philosophy. Many of those discussions can be followed up on in places other than this. But for those who have recently crawled out from under a rock and stumbled onto this post, let me cover the basics for you:

THE PLOT

The plot focuses on an ex-marine, Jake Sully, who is now a parapalegic. His twin brother is a scientist and participant in a ground-breaking military/scientific experiment on the moon of Pandora. The technology involves entering a Matrix-like port where the nervous system of a human being is linked to the nervous system of an alien/human hybrid (Avatar) that can be used as a walking, talking version of yourself. The Avatars are being used to infiltrate Pandora’s complex aboriginal Na’vi who inconveniently have established their centuries-old dwelling on the biggest deposit of the lamely named unobtanium ore that of course provides the answer to all of Earth’s energy needs. The year is 2154, so technology is incredible, and marines are loaning themselves out to some super corporation that’s only goal is to ‘ahem’ obtain the ore, no matter the cost. Unfortunately for the corporation, science and the marines, Sully’s twin brother is dead. Fortunately, his DNA is the same, and his expensive Avatar can still be used. As Sully enters the world, makes contact and gains trust, the story borrows from equal parts Dances With Wolves, Fern Gully, Pocahontas and two or three of Michael Moore’s films.

So whether this is a historical morality tale, a ‘let’s-do-it-better’ warning, a critique of the shock and awe war in the Middle East, or just a story, what’s the difference? Shouldn’t movies be able to borrow from other tales, history or current events? Can’t movie-maker’s imaginations run with a little bit of caution, ecology and entertainment? Can’t a guy who’s producing this film with hundreds of millions of his own dollars do whatever he damn well pleases? I’d say. Let’s face it, North America is a bunch of consumers, we’ve got a pretty poor track record of taking what we want, regardless of the cost. We don’t do well at sustaining what we have and we’re totally disconnected from nature. If any of this comes as a surprise to you, you’re simply not paying attention.

THE EFFECTS

Visually, the film is beyond anything I’ve ever experienced. I remember seeing the original Transformers in 2007, and I came out of the theater thinking, “Anything that can be imagined, can be put on film.”

Well James Cameron takes Optimus Prime and nut punches him to the next level. This is a seamless compilation of cutting edge weaponry, futuristic computer technology, combat, etc, etc, etc. At times, I wondered if it was simply an animated film, however the motion-capture of the human actors give the Na’vi incredibly realistic movements, facial expression and all-out action. And the work that has gone in to the skin, plants, animals, landscapes, is absolutely a work of art. There are moments when you want to pause the image just to take it all in. I found myself moving my head from side to side and gasping at the beauty of the fully immersed new reality I was experiencing. My son was reaching out towards the screen to grab the 3-D images that at times nearly engulf you. On a number of occasions I could hear gasps throughout the theater at the detail and beauty being portrayed. The effects are overwhelming. Not in an in-your-face, look-at-what-Weta-computers can do way, but were used to present a new world where the story takes place. It MUST be seen in 3-D on the big screen to be really appreciated. I don’t really know what this would look like in your living room, but the big screen adds a great deal. It sounds like Cameron took some big chances here, I think that all along, he must have known it wasn’t really a risk after all.

THE PHILOSOPHY

Here’s where things fell apart for me slightly. I was drawn into the interconnectedness of the Na’vi/nature relationship, I liked the way the scientists were discovering biological answers to the religious beliefs of the natives. The story borrows early from human religions and philosophies: there is a tree of life, garden of Eden, native American spiritualism, Buddhist and Hindu elements here, all which work, and in a weird way sort of made me realize the similarity in a lot of our origin stories. The most emotionally charged scene was a laying on of hands when Sully is fully accepted into the Na’vi tribe. But Cameron goes overboard on the Shamanism, peaking in a strange, humming, rebirth ritual that sort of spooked me out.

‘We’re all connected to nature’, is obviously an old idea, one which doesn’t have to be harmful, offensive or weird, but Cameron nearly makes it that way.

Despite the fact that I dropped $68 to take my kids, I think I need to see this one again, to appreciate the things I missed, and to remember how good it was. This will be a film that this generation looks back on, like Star Wars, or The Matrix for the generations before, as a film that changed the way that movies are made, and if you ask me, that’s a good thing.

Operation Gentle Butterfly

Not many people can make me laugh with as much consistency as Dave Barry. The guy’s still got it. Check out his hilarious (and lengthy) year in review.

DePopulation: Canada’s in on the Action

She must be joking. Diane Francis writing for the Financial Post wants to adopt China’s One Child Policy. I’m looking for the Jonathan Swift A Modest Proposal-like satire here, but I’m not finding it.

Copenhagen Update: China Saving the World, One Condom at a Time

 

China, long concerned about Carbon emissions (yeah right) is making the claim that they are helping to do their part with their strict family planning guidelines. Zhao Baige, vice-minister of National Population and Family Planning Commission of China (NPFPC) said, “Dealing with climate change is not simply an issue of CO2 emission reduction but a comprehensive challenge involving political, economic, social, cultural and ecological issues, and the population concern fits right into the picture.”

China admits they’re not solving 100% of the problems. They’re facing huge gender imbalances (female babies are often aborted or abandoned) and the society is aging fast. Well, that’s what happens when you knock off your little ones. China has ‘prevented’ 400 MILLION births, which is in turn preventing the emission of 18 million fewer tonnes of CO2 every year. Hooray!

Put Your Hands Up

 

 

I’m starting to not want to answer the phone when my children are in school. Last year, Avery disfigured an already crooked jawline, when he plunged headfirst into a metal stair railing – breaking his jaw, loosening 2 teeth, losing 4 and severely mangling his gums and braces. Thanks to the A+ work of a fill-in dentist, Avery’s mouth is nearly back to normal.

Today, I had the privilege (and I say that sincerely) of taking him to emergency after losing a battle with a band saw. While working on a table leg for a project in grade ten shop class, Avery slipped, cutting his hand on the saw. From the images you can see that it was serious.

He was in good spirits when I picked him up from the high school, smiling and even had colour in his face. He joked on the way to the hospital, and laughed at some of my comments, which for a teenager is sometimes cause for concern. We were ushered quickly into a small room in the ER (without having to dodge hundreds of H1N1 sickies), and after waiting for 2 hours, a doctor and student doctor came in to deal with the carnage. The wound was cleaned and sutured, an amazing procedure that both Avery and I watched with interest. The freezing was the hardest on both of us, me as I grimaced watching the needle enter the very tender, gooey flesh, and of course for Avery, because the syringe had to plunge in and out of the huge gash 10 or 12 times.

We marvelled at the amazing intricacies of the musculature, ligaments and bone structure of the hand, and the elasticity of the skin, the quickness of clotting factor and the overall resiliency of the human body – amazing! Luke, I envy your job.

The young student doctor, obviously nervous, did a decent job stitching, and we were on our way. The doctor and various nurses assured me I should be proud of how he was handling the pain, discomfort, ugliness of the wound, and loss of the rest of the volleyball season. I assured them, I was.